Yeah I don't know Daily Entry?

Highly unlikely anyone reads this.

But I realized thinking today that I've always been trans since I was little. Always gazing at the girls in dresses and skirts and actually quite jealous. Its interesting to notice how it all started from such a young age.

Realized I love skirts more then I think I would ever have, don't think I would like dresses too much though. Im becoming more and more comfortable in my skin and I finally understand what people mean by features softening.

We're going to be free of her daughter tomorrow and we have nothing planned but hell. I doubt we do anything. Also bought tickets to another event which is even more awesome but thats next month.

I don't know I go from happy to feeling off though anymore when I sit to write

Then I think Im getting sick and on top of that my mom brings up well its time to stop those meds. My HRT and get some cold meds. I don't get it.

Empty

I feel empty inside. What bothers me the most is I'm afraid to open up because I'm afraid I'll get sent there. I don't know why but I can't go back. I will die then. Even thinking about it scares me beyond belief

What's In A Name?

Whats in a name?

A name is something we are given at birth but what is it really to us? Its not something we choose as its already chosen for us even before we realize what it is. Its what you could call our calling what people refer to us as instead of that person. Or a “Hey You Over There” Its something that we use to identiy people and use on a more personal level then just a “Oh Hi.” A name is what makes us unique. It also shows us differences from times and what names were popular during a time frame.

Our Parents give us a name at birth something they chose its like you have no choice in it. And when you do the people who give you that name are normally less then thrilled that you want you something different that what they had planned for you. Its almost like a betrayal on some fronts. Just over a name that you had no decisions in. In a sense one could call it the first gift to you. But how do you know this gift is something you want? Something that you will like? You don’t know at first. You eventually grow into it. If you tell your parents what do they tell you? Most would say suck it up and let it become you. Then you later in life have stigmas from a name where you tend act a certain way with someone of that name. Like Oh that’s how all Georges act or something along those lines. The sterotypes come out to play. Which play more of a role then most of us think in our daily lives then we want to believe.

When do you decide the name you have isn’t the name for you anymore? Do you just wake up one day and say “HEY I DON’T LIKE THIS NAME THAT WAS GIVEN TO ME I WANT A CHANGE!” What do you do then go by the other name that was given to you the middle name? But what If you choose not to like that then you pick another name that would be your nickname that most people would use but then you have that person who won’t use it because that’s not your legal name that has to be written down? Sure its preferred but that doesn’t mean people are going to use it, and not like the legal process to change your name is the simpliest one out there and takes time and money.

Sure the name you were given has a meaning to someone just like everything every one ddoes, I mean we choose names for our pets most times but they don’t have a say in that. How do we know they even like the names they have? We don’t its just something they become accustomed to. Then again you can make this basis on everything.