Friday, December 18, 2009

Ah Joys.

Well I should stop neglecting my blog but oh well. Nothing new here. Guess its because I've been busy it seems with things and theres nothing like running out of a good idea, because you cant remember half the things you wanted to type so then you're like OMGWTFBBQ. And you then just forget about it and say you're going to do it later but it never comes. Well me lady and me christmas with teh baby. And there it goes lost my train again = (

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

i just want to give up.
TeH CrAzY PaNdA

Monday, December 7, 2009

Suicide

I now understand what makes people want to kill themselves. Well one of the many reasons there are for this. But I now understand and I can offically say I dont blame some pepole for how hard life can be.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Blasphemy

Well seems once again if I make a "snicker" or laugh it always ends up bad. But nothing new. Guess its how my sense of humor is. A fucked up one that finds what people say sometimes funny as shit. Well thats how life goes.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Why Do People?

Feel the need to tell me something that I really dont care about. So you treat me like your own and you don't like to yell? Then why not say something in the 1st place. But no there is nothing said and then you finally explode. People have to realize what I have had in my life and such. Nothing is pretty. I'm not saying it is. But thanks to everyone anymore Im going to be getting less sleep if the cripple wants me to stay here which she thinks will be an attitude adjustment. Deep down inside I can tell this is what she thinks. So I've changed welcome to life. I want less and less to deal with people. WELCOME TO MY FUCKING WORLD. I dont like dealing with people and I never have. I'd rather not deal with people unless I have to. Oh so you don't have a way to get a hold of me. You didn't ask how to. Instead it all just comes tumbling down and you bitch some more, and more, and more. My woman has nothing to do with this. You just want control and since it was taken away from you, now your upset about it all. Thats all this is, a game of control. I never told you to do anything for me and telling me to take responsibility for things in my life. Well skippy I already do. I manage on my own. I do a pretty damn good job of these things. Just because I am not around all the fucking time doesn't.

People dont understnad what I have been put thru and what I have been going thru.
No one understands.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Happy Late Turkey Day and Black Friday

Well not much has happened since my last post. But since then I have taken a test for my PSY 100 class which seemed pretty easy for me. Overall I think I did really good on the test. Turkey day was alright watched a little bit of football not much but just enough to say hell yes I watched some football. Didnt end up eating till 9 PM which did sorta suck. But at least I was able to eat before I went to work. And then work was short and quick which is an awesome thing esp on the holidays. But I met the woman after I got off work at Old Navy where I felt bad for her because she was all bundled up. At least she got what she went there for in the 1st place. I went to Wal Mart where I camped out for some games. Which I had to wait till 5 am but ended up with Dragon Age Origins (Not Sure If Going To Keep) Left 4 Dead 2 and Hasboro Family Game Night all for under $100 bucks. Then it was off to Radio shack to get me a bigger memory card for my phone. Now rocking a 4gb micro SD card. Cost me 10 bucks. Ended up getting 2 of them one for someone else which was not a problem. Aside the lady in front of me getting pissed off because they didn't have a phone which made me lulzicon inside after i heard what it was. Then it was off to Lowes for someone to get a Shop Vac and drill combo set. Might I add getting both of those for under $100 was a great deal. I think I saved more money then I actually spent in the store which was pretty funny. But otherwise there is nothing as of late to report. Lulz. Report.

And In Case I dont see you. Good Afternoon, Good Evening And Good Night!!
Jason The Panda Nakanishi (Elmo TeH AzN)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Long Update From Last.

If only people would understand. I am free to do what I want to when I want to. Just because I am 10 minutes away doesn't mean anything I didnt know it was that hard for people to just sit and relax. Oh I need you to do this I need you to help out do this, do that. Thats fine but I'm never really here so I don't get what the problem is. I can help out if it is really that big of a deal. And I don't think you realize I am trying to live my own life but you're making it pretty much impossible but oh well. Nothing new around here for me.

In other news I am top 25 for Gamerscore in Ohio I achieved my goal of 100k and the 1% badge on 360voice. And just been now in a race to get the 3* Fighting badge and the new race to Complete Assassin's Creed 2 which is turning out to be a challenge.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Denial Of My Blog.

Guess I have been busy or something or just not feeling it. Anymore what can I say sometimes it hard to sit down here and write a nice blog post. Eh it gets pretty bad because I can't remember half of the things I want to say here because I think of them and then forget about writing them down. Oh well. Nothing new there. In reality I have a lot of good things going on:
I broke 100,000 Gamerscore. Some people might look at this as bad, for me this was a big milestone and one I worked really hard to earn. Took me little over a year to put up 70k just to even have a shot of doing it this year. Since then I haven't done much.

Me and the woman are good and I think I am the happiest I have been in a long long while. I just don't care what anyone thinks about me and her anymore. I have the blessings of people I want. Overall everyone else can fuck off because it's my life not theirs. I know I am being hard headed about this but still. FUCK OFF.

My grandpa is hit and miss anymore but what else can you say about it all. The man is 81 years old. Personally I think he's doing as good as he can for how old he is.
Its just like this let the man live his life the way.


In other news I just had a friend hit me with one of the best deals I have heard of in a while. I love game sales. And I hate fake and flaky people. That is all.

To me woman. I love you ^^)

Monday, October 5, 2009

Its also the point when you make it seem like if I come out and say something that it's wrong or not supposed to be said. So I say nothing.
TeH NiNjA PaNdA

Alone?

Why is this that sometimes I feel all alone although I know someone is there. I can understand I am not popular or anything or even have that many friends. I guess I just forces myself into this solitude of not having many people around me or anything. It is like I tend to scare them away or something. But what else is new about this. I feel somewhat bad that this is what I have become but this is what the world has helped shape me into.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Weekend Recap

Well this weekend was a mixed bag for success I would guess. Working this past weekend wasn't overall bad was hit easy Sat and Sunday but last night was a pain in the old arse. I don't think I have had that much stuff to stock on the shelf for a long time. It wasn't overall bad but yeah. It was just there.

Saturday was a nice day to relax and watch some good ol fashion Michigan football. Once again Forcier steps up to the plate with a late drive to put the Wolverines up. Right now I am begining to question what is wrong with the defense. Last season there was a big gap from the defense to the offense. Now its the other way around. The defense can't stop anyone or anything but the offense is not having that hard of a time finding the endzone.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Small Weekly Update

Ah Michigan pulls off the win on what people will be calling a fluke play for a while but the truth is a win is a win anymore. Just ask Houston after narrowly edging out Texas Tech. I think them and Boise St are going to be the teams to beat in the Non Big Six. But its interesting to see a school from no where really. Well on that is not talked about very much in the big picture getting some respect they have earned and deserved. Lets just hope they can keep it together.

In other news I think I might get my first win this year in Fantasy Football. Shocking and scary I know its 3 weeks into the season and I haven't gotten a win yet and my team is a stacked team. But oh well maybe I can become undefeated in the end after having a very sad 0-2 start. I clearly should be 3-0 if it wasn't for some mistakes on my part and me not thinking about who not to have some faith in. Live and learn I guess that is how everything goes anymore.

The thought just came into my head recently on how my life would be different if I had a brother or sister. Younger or older. I don't think I would have been the same confined person I am now. I was supposed to have 2 siblings but everyone who knows me knows how that one turned out. Well some people have some ideas and know how it turned out others just don't know what happened or anything because I haven't been open like no other about it. I guess you can call it another one of those skeletons in my closet that I would rather not talk about. Maybe that's part of the reason I feel there is always a pretense with me. But then again I know why that is. I know my dog follows me still and she's making sure I am staying safe and such. No idea what had brought this up but still that's how it goes.

Small Weekly Update

Ah Michigan pulls off the win on what people will be calling a fluke play for a while but the truth is a win is a win anymore. Just ask Houston after narrowly edging out Texas Tech. I think them and Boise St are going to be the teams to beat in the Non Big Six. But its interesting to see a school from no where really. Well on that is not talked about very much in the big picture getting some respect they have earned and deserved. Lets just hope they can keep it together.

In other news I think I might get my first win this year in Fantasy Football. Shocking and scary I know its 3 weeks into the season and I haven't gotten a win yet and my team is a stacked team. But oh well maybe I can become undefeated in the end after having a very sad 0-2 start. I clearly should be 3-0 if it wasn't for some mistakes on my part and me not thinking about who not to have some faith in. Live and learn I guess that is how everything goes anymore.

The thought just came into my head recently on how my life would be different if I had a brother or sister. Younger or older. I don't think I would have been the same confined person I am now. I was supposed to have 2 siblings but everyone who knows me knows how that one turned out. Well some people have some ideas and know how it turned out others just don't know what happened or anything because I haven't been open like no other about it. I guess you can call it another one of those skeletons in my closet that I would rather not talk about. Maybe that's part of the reason I feel there is always a pretense with me. But then again I know why that is. I know my dog follows me still and she's making sure I am staying safe and such. No idea what had brought this up but still that's how it goes.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Why Do People?

I went and saw my grandfather for the first time in a couple days after hearing about him getting a wheelchair. After seeing it for the first time I can understand why people in my family want him to have one but on the same hand its not helping him. I understand he has a hard time walking sometimes but this isn't the answer at least as far as I can see. But with me saying something it would just get me nowhere and piss me the fuck off. But that's nothing new. Its just going to be one of those things when it's all said and done and I am going to end up more then likely ripping someone a new one. But I think I am going to cut this short for reasons and being I can't remember half the things I wanted to say.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Ah ANOTHER Wonderful Saturday

Michigan pulls off the win over Notre Dame who was predicted to win in THE BIG HOUSE against the Michigan Wolverines. Something like last year was not going to happen where there were 6 turnovers. Instead a year later with a True Freshman QB the story changes. T. Forcier a True Freshman QB with some intangibles that not many QBs can come out of high school with proved yesterday he belongs in NCAA College Football. Calm and composed after Michgan had the big TD to go up in the 4th Forcier comes down and just takes a seat on the bench puts the headset on and gets recollected to go it again. And he does. With 11 seconds on the clock on the ND 5 yard line he throws a bullet to Senior WR Greg Matthews, to lead Michigan to a win 38-34 Over the Irish. Sorta reminds me of years ago when Mario Manningham caught the game winner with no time on the clock on a Quick Slant Route in Happy Valley. Forcier said this also, "Everybody kept saying a freshman couldn't do it," Michigan quarterback Tate Forcier said. "I did it." During the final drive and throughout the whole game Forcier was being talked about in the same boat with Montana. Pretty shocking stuff. But with each game he plays he will only get better and better.


Later in the day I went to Schmidt's Sausage Haus with my beautiful girlfriend. ^_^ We both had the Autobahn Sausage Buffet. It was well worth it and the place was empty because of the OSU game. Ah but I did have a nice helping of Bahama Mama and tried the other sausages. There was also some good german music being played. I guess it felts good to go out and have a nice time overall and just relax and slowly come down from the high that I had just watched. The food was reasonably prices and I had defeat by a Jumbo Creme Puff = ( Only the first time ever I haven't been able to eat one.


Then it was the OSU game time. And what happens the fail to seal another win from a Top 5 team. 0-6 now... Ever since Florida beat them in the National Championship game the wagon wheels have fallen off. Right now their biggest downfall was no one telling Pryor to sit the fuck down when there was the USC miscue that ended up giving OSU 2 points and a safety. Honestly WHY WOULD YOU GET UP CHEERY WHEN YOUR TEAM DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. Ignorance if you would ask me. And it was only the 3rd quarter when it happened. There was no reason to jump up and down when the game was clearly a defensive game. But I will give Herbie one prop. Pryor was the X-Factor in the game. But he wasn't able to calm himself down overall. He was into the hype too much and that is what cost them part of the game. I will give OSU some credit for putting up and fight and not letting it become a blowout in their own house but then again I think that's partially because your in the 'Shoe. But in the end the USC onslaught turned out to be too much and USC comes into Ohio and pulls out another win .

Friday, September 11, 2009

People As A Whole

Why does it seem the more and more I look at this generation I think we're all going to be fucked. Seeing someones tweets about how it seems they are so damn full of themselves bitching about every little thing makes me want to go and just knock them out. I guess I for one am sick of people just talking shit to say something about anything.

I know its been a while since I made a blog post and that was a great way to start off. One night maybe a week ago I had a really trippy dream where I was back in my old school at Madison. Weird I know it makes no sense to me in my head or anything. Its like I saw most of the people I went to school with when they are all my age now. Not like it was back in the day when I actually went there. Then the next thing I remember was that I was in my house and there was a girl standing there maybe 10 years old or so. She wanted me to follow her into my kitchen then before I got that far I woke up. Didnt sleep till the next day but oh well. I need to start updating this more but oh well. I had to get this dream out of my head. Its all good though.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Hard Times

Why is it that lately Ive been snapping easier. Its like there is sometimes no trust or communication between us. I wish it wasn't like this and when I try to rectify the situation but it works to no avail. I just want to punch a wall sometimes. I feel like I don't do enough or I just make the questions be raised on how I feel. It hurts a lot inside me and I don't know how to handle this and what not and it doesn't help me out. I feel as if I get angry more sometimes for the things that are done more then the things that aren't done. Im sorry I snapped at you when you were on my comp. Its just one of those things I guess. Its not like I dont have trust in you its just I don't know I guess I am ashamed of some of the things that are there. I guess because I am facinated by weird things but this is just me. Its who I am. If I don't understand things I try to find out why they are the way that they are.

So I am a big fuck up around here. What else is new.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Trust: A Rant

Some would call this a staple in a relationship. Most believe is it and it proves true all the time that it is. Its somewhat hard for me to trust people but it's not like I dont try. I am very insecure about my feelings and I hope for the best when it comes down to it. I can also become a very jealous person but thats another story for another day. I guess what I am trying to say is sometimes people have a hard time learning to trust someone or just overcoming their fears of the past. Sometimes I wonder how it works out in the end of the people. How do they learn how to cope with each other and trust one another unconditionally? Its something I would like to know but this is how the world goes. Its one of those things. So yeah I dunno. This is just a rant of a post with no necessary meaning but oh well.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Why is this?

That people can never see the adverse affects of a person who cares about them when all they do is yell at everyone about every little problem that they have? For some people they want to become the person who they are talking about. Usally a mean hateful person who doesn't give 2 shits about the problems they are facing. Its like they are never good enough for the person and when someone comes along and tries to help it seems that all they do is make the situation worse for the depressed person. Why does the world have to be like this? There is no point on why people should be so hateful to another in this situation. Its not like they killed someone in their family or their pet or stole money from them. I guess this post will fall on deaf ears but oh well. In the end it makes me feel a little better about myself for getting these things out into the somewhat public eye.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The better while most think its for the worse. Anymore i just want to know one thing. How many times do you have to hit bottom before you realize whats wrong
Its funny how the way things go turn out and happen. A person can go from happy to depressed in 5 mins or less if the situatiob desires it. As some say its for

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I feel Great.

Well I told my mom how I really feel about some things and I feel a lot better. Mind you it was a bit stressful. Also in my Math class I have been feeling really confident for some weird reason. Also Im pretty excited because I am finally taking care of things for once in my life and ready to get my whole life on track and ston being the big slacker I have always known to be for myself. I am trying to update this blog on a more constant basis but with me trying to get more GS and such it take a toll on other time. also with school and just not thinking about the good things to write about till I get home and I am like WTF was I thinking about at work. DAMN IT!! Cause the post would have sounded so good. But the backlog work is in progress. If you have no idea what I am talking about lets put it this way.

I have over 50+ Xbox 360 Games. I have played maybe half of those and not completed them. Now I'm finally going to go back and start playing thru this long teedious and bad games. #1 on the list PREY!! OMG there isn't much I can say for this game aside how funny everything is in it. And at least when i am doing this there's a positive side of all of this. I raise my Completion % and such and in the end this gives me a reason for using the other Xbox I picked up a couple months ago. Rockstar Table Tennis ^_^ Enemy Territory Quake Wars ^_^ just to name a couple off.

I think this was a short post but I felt the urge and need to do it so Its like that. Cause were going to HIT IT LIKE THIS!!! And Im 100$ serious about this.

Because You Want The Truth? You Can't Handle The Truth.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Does Life Always Seem This Way.

Ever seem as if you don't do anything right in your life. Your family is hating on something your always doing or going to do no matter how hard you try? You just don't seem to care about anything and not dwell on things going on in your life because you dont want to think about the negaitive things that happen in it? If so welcome to my wonderful life. Most of the time anymore it just seems like bleh. People are always pissing me off or aggrivating me for the most retarded reasons and I just blow up at someone without even putting thought to it. I guess this is a bad way to be. I wouldn't know though this is nothing new in my life I would guess. It seems like I want to let people get close to me but when I do it's like I have to do something to try to push them back away. Not like I try to do these things. It just happens.

On another note. 78K has fallen and finished up a couple games and such. Nothing too fancy. But its at least something going on. Been stuck playing GoW2 or MvC2 pretty good games IMO just sucking at the both of them right now. I never thought i would be able to adjust to this laptop keyboard but hell i think ive managed pretty well to type on it pretty quickly although its a flat based thing instead of a normal keyboard. Babe just want to let you know I love you and don't know what I would do without you. Hope you had a fun time with me today at the fair =)

Monday, July 27, 2009

Finally An Update.

Its going to be a nice one I would hope. So in the past week I've been the biggest slacker in the world. I feel Bad about my GSL team losing the final 2 games in the final week to knock us out of playoff contention. I feel like the Mets =( and I hate the METS. Well I feel more like The Cubs. But if everything plays out like I hope Ill be back next year like the Cubs with the hope and see how far I can get with a team. Maybe we can have Donkey Punchers v 2.0. My mom went on a small mini vacation and Boy did I have like teh best time ever when she was gone. Its like when she goes on a vacation and I dont have to be with around or ever see or hear from its its like Heaven.

So Its not looking like Im going to get into my goal of 100k By August 31st but I know for sure I am damn sure going to hit 100k this year and Im still in pursuit of my 1% badge on 360Voice.

Took my 1st stupid math test and got a 75 on it. Not bad for not doing anywork whatsoever in that class and some how managing to sit thru my teachers boring lectures. its like he sits there and just rambles on and on and on. But at least Im showing up to class which is a major improvement from before where I would only show up for the test dates.

So on another note Gf drove into a ditch I got poison Ivy. Lets just say on your face and between your finger is not fun places to have the poison ivy. And before I lose all my focus Im going to end this here.
So my new last name is naganishi. Blame my math teach for that new way of sayin my name. Too tired for this shit
TeH NiNjA

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

So yeah i need to play more Dead Rising... I had a pretty fucked up dream this morning that my house well my gmas was being invaded by zombies. Weird huh?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Im A Slacker.

But anyway this is a short blog post lol. At least this is going to be a little short for the moment. I went to the Stellastarr* concert with the woman for her birthday. Which was Sat and the both of us had a good time. I wanted to kill the stupid white piece of shit that cut me off on I-70 OH YEAH MOTHERFUCKER I HAVE YOUR LICENSE PLATE # Motherfucker. Especially after you decided to throw something at my at. Its game on bitch. But anyway. My ears are ringing like a bitch and Ill be making a great bigger longer blog post tomorrow. Right now I just want my ears to stop ringing. Its pretty bad I wanted to make a post but I am too damn lazy lol. But yeah Im going to lay down for now and hope my ears stop ringing.

Side note. I broke 75k Lol.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Its Gone = (

Well I want to say 2 days ago it finally came down. My old high school is now in pieces. Where a school had stood for over 70+ years graduated that many classes then some and was the face of a township. Everyone that grew up around the area had their own memories of that school. Sure some of the memories are different for everyone but in the end its the same thing. You had something happen in that school. Well then again it was high school and something always happens there. The 4 smallest years in your life. Hell even a movie was taped in that school. I cant remember the name but its one of those things you just instantly notice. Some of us even has the same teachers from when my mom was in school. C/O 1980. Mrs. Eblin you will always be remember for the 3 years of 4 that I had you for a teacher always staring at the ceiling and we always wondered if you knew how many holes there were on the tiles. Well each indivual hole. I wanted to make this post a couple days ago. I couldnt bring my self to it and I was sad about the whole situation with the school coming down. Anyone who is actually happy about it coming down really doesn't understand what that building meant to all the classes that graduated from there. They never will. Most will look at the new building and be like wow, this is so much better then the last building. But deep down inside everyone who was in that old building will understand the pain. Especially when you hear people all cheering that the pillars were coming down. It just hurts. And it will hurt until its all gone and even then the pain will not be going away.

But its like a Phoenix it will rise from the ashes. and thats what we get from the new building that was finished this year. When one building comes down another one comes up from anew.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Are We Ready To Let Go?

Ive been meaning to make a blog post for a while now. Just been forgetting about it among other things.

Its an honest question to an age old question anymore. Are we really and ready to let someone pass on to the other side? I'de like to think I am but at the same time I tend not to think about the things like this. This was one of those random thoughts I had while working from a topic me and my womenz were talking about the other day. Well my Grandpa finally got out of his little rehab place where we all thought the meds were killing his kidneys. The same thing that got him in there in the 1st place. But its all said and done and over now and hes able to be home and relax. It makes me happy inside. I know the time will come but at least for now I know hes able to be home.

On another note Ive broken the 70k Barrier for Gamerscore GO GO GO GO!! ME! Lol I did it last week in the 1st week of my GSL. And Now week 2 kicks off. Goal 74K Its completely possible might take a little bit of work but oh well. It will help me get closer to the goal of 100k by Aug 31st. Completely Possible just have to work.

So Ill leave you with this one question.
Its the title.

Are you ready to let go of someone you truely care about?
Ive had to let go of 2 dogs. One died the other we had to get rid of. So I think Im good for a while but are you?

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Finally Finished.

Well I finished Oblivion with all The DLC for the 1st time ever. You would think in 2+ years along with me owning the and renting the game over a dozen times it would be completed heh never. But finally after all this time I can say I have gotten all the achievements in the game. You really cant say beat for an RPG of such things unless you have about 100+ hours where you aren't doing anything or wanting to do anything. Its more like a Zelda Meets JRPGS and has a baby but its non turn based or linear. So not much around here to report. My G-Pas been chilling at the house for the past couple days which is nice. Its a nice break away from where he usally is. Ive ben sleeping in later which is a major shock to me and most people. Me womens she be doing alright. And I picked up UFC Undisputed 2009. Eh alright game nothing personally to brag about. I dont know why but I guess Im not all that into UFC like I would have thought after picking up the game. Let alone Im just playing the tutorial and not the game. Its alright to say the least. Its not like OMG OMG OMG OMG MUST HAVE THIS GAME. Its just another fighter with no health bars. Personally I would rather play Fight Night Round 3 or 4 instead or own either one instead of UFC. But I got a nice deal on it along with Guitar Hero World Tour with a Guitar. Although it needs cleaned pretty bad. But I think im going to help out the womenz and Im leaving on this note. Anyone else have GH:WT and looking to jam sometime? If so hit me up. Ill add it to the 5000 other games and achievements Im working on.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Blogging Can Be Fun.

So today I actually got to sleep past 11!! Like the 1st time in 2 weeks or so lol. Well since my Gpa went to this therapy place. Pretty nice might I say but slighty annoying at the same time. Been thinking lately a little scary and just chilling anymore. Playing teh Oblivions trying to get this fucking 1250 out of the way and having another game completed to I can work thru the disk carry again. I think there are 22 games in there well 23 if you count Oblivion. Shivering Isles is pretty fun might I say. I think after this I am going to work on Stranglehold and get that stupid 250 pts out of the way and have 2 games completed in like 3 days. It would be interesting and nice to get done. Im getting a Moo Moo cow soon for the new Harvest Moon. Its a Cow Plushie thats a bit creepy but I find it funny. Maybe I can scare the shit out of some people with it and get my kicks and laughs. Tomorrow is I hope going to be a more relaxing day but one never knows and can tell whats going on with anything. Just counting down till the weekend for teh Garage sales and may find some more good stuff. Hell I might end up getting a NES POWER GLOVE!! It would be kick ass i think. Prolly never use it though. I think Ide be too much of a geek then. But oh well. Time to end it on this note. with this youtube video. Hope you enjoy.

Oh and I added Last.Fm to my blog. CHECK THIS SHIT OUT!!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Wow A Day Off.

So Im listening to some Sublime right now ^_^ What I Got which isnt much anymore. But went and saw the G-Pa
today. Good stuff might I say. Its always nice to go out and eat lunch with him. Issac yeah the dude sold that
Fallout 3 but Ill let you use mine along with Oblivion when I get done beating it and get the full 125o lol.
Maybe if you want Ill let you borrow Stranglehold pretty fun 3rd person shooter. Overall today being as short
as it is is going to be MOTHERFUCKING ACTION PACKED CAUSE I WANT THESE MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES OFF THIS MOTHER
FUCKING PLANE BICHES!! But yeah I get to do the Grocery shopping thing. Does anyone know what to do there? I
mean I work at one but i dont know what this Grocery shopping thing is. But I think Ill be ending this here
and cant forget there be CoD3 and Shadowrun boosting to do tonight and get me some Achievements!! I WANT THEM
NAO!!!!

YAY DAYS OFF!

So Im listening to some Sublime right now ^_^ What I Got which isnt much anymore. But went and saw the G-Pa today. Good stuff might I say. Its always nice to go out and eat lunch with him. Issac yeah the dude sold that Fallout 3 but Ill let you use mine along with Oblivion when I get done beating it and get the full 125o lol. Maybe if you want Ill let you borrow Stranglehold pretty fun 3rd person shooter. Overall today being as short as it is is going to be MOTHERFUCKING ACTION PACKED CAUSE I WANT THESE MOTHER FUCKING SNAKES OFF THIS MOTHER FUCKING PLANE BICHES!! But yeah I get to do the Grocery shopping thing. Does anyone know what to do there? I mean I work at one but i dont know what this Grocery shopping thing is. But I think Ill be ending this here and cant forget there be CoD3 and Shadowrun boosting to do tonight and get me some Achievements!! I WANT THEM NAO!!!!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Microsoft E3 Keynote & Achievements Today

Good to see some nice sequels announced at E3 today.

OMG LEFT 4 DEAD 2 XBOX 360 And PC ONLY!! FUCK YES Im super excited about this coming and such.
Crackdown 2. Sorta figured this was coming out.

MGS with Raiden and FF13 coming to the Xbox 360 Nothing really suprising to me in a sense would rather have 4 personally but what more can you say or do about it.


The new motion cap stuff along with the new camera and things are very creepy. It almost seems as if they want the robots to take over and were going to have something like the Matrix or something. CREEPY O_O

Thats about all I have and liked from the MS E3 Keynote...


BUT FOR THOSE WHO DONT CARE!!


I Finally beat the comp 3 vs 1 today in Red Alert 3 Made me so happy for a 40GS Achievement. Havent had that feeling in a while. So after 3-5 strategies and about 12 hours of frustration the achievement is finally mine!! ALL MINE!! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHA!! Now for some Oblivion.

Epic Fails.

Well seems like I cant fucking do anything right big suprise there. It seems like my life is nothing but a big fuck up for all those involved. Nothing new or suprising there. My life one big shit hole. Not suprising in the least. Seems everything I ever try to do to make someone happy just comes back and blows up in my face. Im not saying its always my fault but sometimes it is. It just makes me wonder why I bother sometimes if i knew things were going to end up in a shit hole. Its sad and depressing to think that me of all people can do something right in my life. Yeah who the fuck was I kidding about this. Thats never going to happen. I guess I'm just going to be a fuck up like the rest of my family is. A whole big piece of shit with nothing going for him but the stuff he can take from other people. Wait thats not me I cant do that shit but hell it seems thats the easier route for most people and it works out for them pretty fucking well. I just dont think I could ever sink that low to do something like that. And sorry to all those that I've fucked up their lives. Cause right now I think I fucked mine up more then you could ever fuck your lives up. But whats new there. Thats all I ever am is a fuck up.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Happyness

What in the hell can I not do right that makes me happy. The womenz thinks Im not happy with her or anything she does. Which isnt the case. Im going back into my old self I can tell. Getting sick of all the stupid bullshit that people have put me thru. And Im going back to not giving 2 shits about anyone or anything anymore it seems. I have one true passion and one thing anymore. Gaming. Its bad its like its becoming a 2nd job for me as it seems. Boosting something or playing something every night anymore wha else is there to do it seems sometimes.

Well this post just became retarded. Im just in a slump of some sort. I blame my piece of shit family anymore. And after thinking about this Im no better then the rest of the pepole I talk to. Not even considering my family. I dont think Im honestly better then anyone else. Im not even an average guy. Im below average in my own right of mind.

Guess Im not going to get anywhere with this. Why the fuck do I bother sometimes. It makes no sense to me. Not like Ill be getting anywhere with this. Just another fucking waste of time and space for those who read it. People read this and feel sorry but on the same hand dont feel sorry. Read it for some insight. On how people act. But most always are judgemental and never realize that its just meant to be read for what it is. Hell any blog is meant for that unless there is some valueable information or something similar on that.

Here I go with the rambles on again....But if anyone knows how to be happy please let me know cause It seems I dont know how to fucking do it.

Happyness

What in the hell can I not do right that makes me happy. The womenz thinks Im not happy with her or anything she does. Which isnt the case. Im going back into my old self I can tell. Getting sick of all the stupid bullshit that people have put me thru. And Im going back to not giving 2 shits about anyone or anything anymore it seems. I have one true passion and one thing anymore. Gaming. Its bad its like its becoming a 2nd job for me as it seems. Boosting something or playing something every night anymore wha else is there to do it seems sometimes.

Well this post just became retarded. Im just in a slump of some sort.

Friday, May 29, 2009

i love getting bitched at 1st thing in the morning by my grandma because of my fucking family being so fucking stupid
TeH Sad PaNdA

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Long Week.

Well little since the last post. My G-Pa ended up back in the hospital for a couple days. Now hes back in Rehab YAY! 2 weeks to go we all can hope and speculate. But overall with Memorial day and such hitting it was a pretty nice 10 days since the last post. Its been good overall. Me and the womenz had a nice weekend alone while here momma went camping. My mom is loosing her marbles at a crazy rate. I guess I felt this post was needed to let people know whats going on in my life. Just keeping up with school and such takes a lot of my time along with my Gpa in rehab. Not much time to do a lot anymore. It seems like I wake up take my g ma to see him and do errands all day. Then I come home and Boost on XBL then I go to work. Man its a busy life. Well at least Ive gotten some progress in some games that I thought I wasnt going to be able to get done. Oblivion YOU WILL FALL TO ME!! MUHAHAHA! But on another note I was happy when teh womenz got me some games from a Garage sale. Pretty nice might I say.

Time to end this and maybe go to bed with her. Eh Yeah Im done here. This post suckzored lol. Good times

Monday, May 18, 2009

A Letter To My Woman..Enjoy

I feel like shit and I dont want to talk.

Honestly right now I want to fall over and just lay there and not get up for anyone or anything

Family is stressed me out so fucking bad its killing me.

my heads throbbing behind my right eye so damn bad it hurts

no one gives a shit about how i feel

I always have to be there for everyone when i dont want to '


I just want to take one fucking day off for myself and thats just impossible with everyone anymore. Just because Im the one who
works 3rd shift it means OH FUCK YEAH JASON CAN DO IT ALL HE DOESNT NEED SLEEP Fuck it just get him to
do all the stupid bullshit

Im so fucking sick of it i just want to tell everyone to cfuck off. And no one gives 2 shits about hwo i feel
not even my mom shes more worried about the shit thats going on with everyone else that when i snapped tonight and got pissed at her
because she ouldnt answer my fucking question she gets all pissy with me

Its nt\ot like anyone gives 2 shits about how I feel and how much diress this is putting on me
I want to knock the fucking piss out of my aunt for what she said but God only know I cant say anything
because i have to bite my tongue while my g parents are around

Anymore its pissing me off so bad I just get so damn depressed about this because no one seems to care. I
understand that people work a job WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT! I DO TOO FOR FUCKS SAKE. My cousin Erin has her head
shoved up her ass so far its like OH WELL FUCK YOU GRANDPA I HAVE TO TAKE A FUCKING TEST BECAUSE I DONT GIVE A SHIT
SINCE YOUR OUT OF THE HOSPITAL NOW

So much fucking bullshit. Now I know how America Feels as the World police.

I Give Up

With trying to make postive of this blog. Fuck tis just seems like I cant do anything right anymore with anyone or anything. Fuck I heard my Gpa is going to be dead in 3-4 years. How the fuck does anyone take that news. FUCK IF I KNOW! I honestly dont know how to act anymore about this. My mom was like take all the pictures you can while hes still around. I dont want to think like that but with that thought just being put into my head it fucking hurts. Maybe thats where all this supressed depression/anger and stress is coming from. It feels like it. Fuck tonight I just wanted to punch a wall. Why I dont know I was just so fucking pissed off I wanted to punch something or someone. This hurts. Its deeper then anything before. Even seeing him in the hospital hurts. I feel like a part of me is dying inside and when hes gone I feel as if Ill be dead inside with nothing but pictures left to show for what? Memories that can fade with time. I'de rather not try to think about this like that. Ill always remember the good times we've had. Hell when i see him in the bed and I hear about him getting up it makes me feel better inside. Ill never forget the day we came back from TNT Repair (Fuck I dont remember the name of the place) But Ill never forget trying to get him from the car and having to carry him inside while he walked because he was having such a hard time. Or seeing him in the ER with a BP of 80/40 one of the scariest moments of my life. I know hes not gone but Hes sleeping right now in a hospital bed counting down the days till he gets out. Hopefully today or tomorrow would be amazing but who knows. Pretty shitty how the family comes together for one thing and once this is gone the whole family will scatter once again like nothing happened. I made sure every fucking day hes been in there I made an attempt to go and see him. Maybe for not the longest times but I MADE A FUCKING ATTEMPT AND SAW HIM UNLIKE SOME OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY. These people know who they are. Ill leave them nameless in this for now. Right now there is one who a big motherfucking piece of shit that I would love nothing more then to knock the fucking shit out of them. Nothing would make me happier right now. Gma Im sorry I forgot the soap on the sink. I looked at it maybe 4 times before I left and still forgot it -_- dont ask me how I did it. That takes some massive skill.

After thinking about this its where all the anger I have built up for over the past week and a half is from. Makes a lot of sense on why Im so damn snappy after yelling at Erin and having her tell me dont snap at me. WELL IF YOUR FUCKING HEAD WASNT SHOVED SO FUCKING FAR UP YOUR GOD DAMN ASS WE WOULDNT HAVE THIS FUCKING PROBLEM NOW WOULD WE? LIKE SERIOUSLY! For 10+ years I have been able to supress this all down and keep it hidden from everyone. Only a few people have seen me when I have been extremely pissed off. I feel like the Hulk unstoppable but knowing my own limits. She has seen me in this rare form and it scared her. As much as I like to be pissed off sometimes its just not worth it. But on that same hand what is worth it though?

Learning from a movie you have to think about it like this. "Is The Juice Worth The Squeeze?"
I would like to think so. I pretty much said to her tonight If you want me to leave I will. Just dont ever expect to hear or see me again. If you want me to stay Ill stay. No questions asked. If you cant figure out which one she picked Ill leave it up to you all to figure out. All 3 of you people who will actually read this blog.


After writing this long post I feel a whole lot better. Guess its time to supress mroe anger now roffle. Maybe I can find a new game to play on my Xbox also = )

Friday, May 15, 2009

Death With Open Arms

So I was thinking about this with everything going on in my life I realized that we never say good bye to someone because we are never sure when the last time we will talk to someone again. After thinking about what might happen to my family I welcome death with open arms. Although I may never see them again in this world I know I will be able to see them again and I will feel their presence in my everyday life. I guess this is a positive way of looking at things that can happen in life.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Materialistic People

After reading some of the stupid bullshit we call Facebook Status updates and comments. I look and see that some people want a Beach mansion Money and cars. Oh and before you read any further YES I KNOW THERE ARE SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION ERRORS!! SO MEH! Even then it just makes me wonder how materialistic people actually are. Hell could I live without TV and my xbox 360. Sure I could would it make a strong impact on my life yes. But on that same hand I would be able to do it on the same hand. I guess this is just a rant on how everyone thinks that money can buy you happyness. I guess it can for some people but yeah Im done ranting about it now

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Fuck My Life

Well it seems Like i cant ever do anything right now matter how hard i try no matter what I do its never good enough. I dont think people understand how much stress I am under right now with everything thats going on in my life. But fuck what else is new anymore with it. She thinks that I dont want be to with her anymore which isnt the truth at least as far as I can see or tell. Hell as far as I can tell she hates me and me and my kufe us a horrible mess because I cant contol my actions. Hell I want to lash out at everyone right now and blow something up. Why cant it be that easy though. It would make me very happy just to knock the head off of somone but yeah. Hell Im going to have to finush this here and hopefully Ill update more later.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Well Now that 1% of the Population (US) That is..

That now hates me I guess its time for a blog post. Today is my Grandpa's birthday. YAY!! Sad though he thinks he might have the flu or at least thats what everyone else is thinking. I think my gf hates me. Or im just the biggest piece of shit even known to man. I do a lot of questionable things that i guess dont make her happy and I guess i need to learn how to stop doing the things that I do no matter how hard they are for me to stop. It will be better in the long run i hope. Hell anymore I dont know what I should do. I feel like I somewhat hold her back from something. I know she has a kid and a prior engagement and as of late i feel like Ive been forcing her to push her off on someone else. Which is the worst thing I can do. Hell I love her soo deeply I want to break down into tears every time i think about her leaving me or something happening to her. She doesnt think shes good enough but in all reality shes the best a guy like me could have. She the best for her family and her mother. If anything I try to do the best I can but it seems I never can or will be able to although she tells me all the time that I do soo much for her already.
I know you'll read this soon I hope and realize that I honestly hate myself and want to change but its hard. I jsut want to be there for you and thats how this goes. But I dont think Im good enough. I dont want to flirt or be with anyone or any other girl. I guess I get a little too friendly for your liking and thats how this happens. Im sorry Im a fucked up person. You should know also im not bored all the time and you dont bore me. Its just the 1st thing that pops into my mind.

Right now I just want to break down into tears but where would that get me. I wish right now this hellish thing that is my life would end. Since I cant do anything right and Im nothing more then one big fuck up.

Baby I'm Sorry
I dont realize what I have
Thats so great inside of you
That keeps that flame and train
Lit and rolling
I hope you read this
And understand
Im no better then anyone
And prolly the worst out there.


I need to stop supressing things. Its def not good for me or anyone else.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Lazy

Hell its been close to a month before I posted in this. Its beena really really long time and I've wanted to make a post on here for a while now just haven't gotten around to it. For some reason or another I would always be putting it off. Which isnt good because it never gets done then. Ive burnt myself out on games again I think. Grinded about 10 in some bad games and now I have so many games Im burning my selfout on what I even want to attempt to play. I guess its a good and a bad thing I just have to do something to encourage myself to keep at this. But I need to make this more of a 2-3 Day thing. I think Im just going to make a quota for myself till the GSL starts well teh H2H GSL coming up. Hopefully ill get put onto a team. And Im still with muh woman who makes me happy althought shes hogging her bed right now =) But ill manage before I head to work. Shes been playing her katamari and like OMG does she love it. Its good to see her happy and aggrivated at the same time quite funny stuff.
So yeah Im going to keep this update short and to the point for the most part with adding more later because I need to get ready for work. I still hate working 6 days a week. Its pretty annoying. And I need to sell and complete more games. I have too many = (

Sunday, April 12, 2009

When I stop being Lazy

There will be more blog posts. Im in somewhat of a slump in gaming. Got Bully and started grinding some GS out of it. Might I say its one of the better open world, Sandbox games I have played. Lot of fun just not really repetitive. The stuff is different in what you do. Well some of the quests and such. And going to class. Also got some of my items from a couple Low Ball Auctions I have bought some things. Picked up a Prey and Assassin's Creed for 17 shipped not a bad deal. But I also picked up some things from the Gamestop Game Days sale. Decent deals. Got the Namco Musuem collection and such. Haven't even played it. Also Picked up GH Aerosmith, and Command and Conquer 3 Kane's Wrath. All were sealed aside the Namco which was gutted /sigh. Sorta sucked but I knew I wsa going to play it.

Yesterday was pretty fun. Isaac's Mamma got married which was pretty fun to go to and have around. My mom was being an annoyance like only she knows how anymore since I am like never home but what more can I ask. During the ceremony i was thinking hell that will be me in some years. Waiting on my soon to be wife who was sitting next to me. Made me feel some emotions inside and get a little choked up but for the most part I was able to distract myself. And just that whole day was a lot of fun I guess because I never thought much about weddings and such since the last one I went to was years ago. Like 4-6 Years ago and I didnt tend to think long term. I guess I was just biding my time. But my woman was looking stunning and Im glad shes mine. I think after all is said and done its all good every day for me. Maybe this is the drive I might need to get a gaming day grinded out. Or a quick game.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Life is.....So Wonderful and Joyous

Ever been sad and depressed and know why but your too afraid to talk about it? Hell that's how I feel about 90% of the time when I show my emotions. People ask me whats wrong but Im just at a loss of words to say something and I feel when I do its not going to be what they want to hear. Although I tend to be blunt with people it doesn't matter when or help the situation with myself. I guess I feel bad because of the situation. Im sorry I have problems talking about my feelings and such. I feel bad because the woman thinks its her fault but in all fairness its not at all. Its just me when I start thinking about things. I guess I just want to be held when im this sad. Its like its a mix of everything hitting me. But on the same note I just want to get out of the funk. I guess I'll feel better in a couple hours when this is all said and done. And to think about this all, I wanted to be more upbeat on this blog...Oh well guess theres my next post for this.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

An Xbox Live Update For Anyone Reading

This was posted on my 360voice blog and im too lazy before work to come up with another post so Imma be a lazy ass and here it is MUHAHAHAHAHA

Well I haven't done one of these in a while. So yeah. Lately Im slowly inching closer to the 1% badge on 360 voice..Ill have it someday if my completionist habits can stop for a little while. I think thats going to happen now until I get that badge. I hope >_> I got a new phone today. Hell I dont even know what its called right now at the moment. Pretty bad isn't? But lately been boosting with Faff, Ichya, and hopefully Zero and I can get my 100 Hr achievement on C&C 3 then I can put that down for a while. Also was working on the Texas Hold 'Em Achievement for getting all the hands..Only the Royal Flush to go sigh. Then also been working just started on the Zombie Genocidist for Left 4 Dead. Made about 12-14k Zombie kills today. Boy do I love my Play and Charge. But for now. Thats all I have for now. Remember if your looking to boost in something I prolly have send me a FR and a message.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

FUCK!

Just one word can describe how Im feeling right now. Wow week of my Birthday and oh wow its been on to remember this week so far. Aside my girlfriend getting me a kickass Jinx hoodie I think its been like a completely wasted fucking week. It seems like everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. It just pisses me off to the point of no end right now. I understand people want to spend time with me but on the same hand I don't if your ex is going to be coming over in a couple hours. Trust me thats all I had planned I wanted to do today. I didn't even want to play my Xbox.. Hell I brought over my work shirt and pants just so I could spend some more time with you. I know i left my pillow and such. Its just you know how I feel about certain things. What doesnt help is the idiotic Asian girl I know who would fucking lose her head if it wasnt attached. You tell the stupid shit something before she leaves and then says "Oh you never told me that" BULLFUCKING SHIT I FUCKING TOLD YOU BEFORE YOU WENT TO TEXAS TO SEE THE STUPID MOTHERFUCKER THAT CHEATED ON YOUR STUPID ASS WHILE YOU WERE HERE!!! But Jason knows nothing about anything. Of course not. Im just a fucking moron in this piece of shit place. I never know what I am talking about ever.... -_- Then your going to hang up on me just because Im getting loud with you. Remember NOT YELLING GETTING FUCKING LOUD. Because Im already in a pissed off mood and your doing nothing to help me from being that pissed the fuck off because of how much you have your head shoved up your ass? Seriously now.

But after writing this I feel a little better but I am still pissed off but not as bad as I was when I 1st started this. Oh and Happy Fucking April Fool's Day. Fucking bullshit of a piece of shit day. Who ever came up with this day need's shot. And shot again so we all know he is dead.

FYI: Babe I love you but you know how I feel about a lot of things. And why I left.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Wow Its Finally Here BUT WHO FUCKING CARED!

Well today is my Birthday yippie fucking doo. I was born at 5:16 22 years ago today. YAY!! And it seems since then I have a shitty birthday every other year. Well surprising today was no different then following the trend. I guess it was an ok day. Heh i think Ok would be like putting lipstick on a pig and calling it a lady. It was more like a shitty day since I went to sleep and woke up after I had to get new tags for my car. About the only positve there was that the line was short. Then i went home and showered it was alright there. So I went to the hospital. No it wasnt for me but for my woman's baby. Didnt bother me aside the fact that I hate kids and Hospitals even more. My dad calls wondering if he can drop the check off at my grandparents for my bday (Suprising its always a check. Never can give me cash) That would make a whole hella lot of sense.) But turns out we didnt have to even head down there in the 1st place since everything is normal.

So we leave there and head toward The Andersons to get some Land Of Lakes White American cheese. Wow shocking how we get there and it seems like they have discontinued it. Big shocker there since my whole days been like that. Just setting me up for failures all fucking day but nothing new in my life. But at least I got some different kind of beer there which was interesting all in all. Some local brewed beer I think.

But thats nothing till I get back to her house and my grandparents are calling me bitching because Im not there when my dad shows up. Honestly WHO THE FUCK CARES. He's never there for me since what happened 9 years ago. Its something thats a sore topic and something Ill never forget in my life and I vouch to never let that happen to me or anyone I know. Ever. But getting yelled at by people makes it all so much better. I just wanted to go thru the phone and rip their fucking heads off for being such a fucking pain in my ass.

So All in all I end up going over there anyway to get some things for my mom and get what he dropped off. Picked up a card from my grandparents and got the check from them that my dad left. End up getting yelled at by her for not showing up and such, Of that made my fucking day. Its my fucking birthday and im getting the 3rd fucking degree. Then I get home and my mom flips out cause I am one minute late. That one minute I spent in the driveway talking to her. But thats nothing new. Shes being more of a spazz of late. Its just getting to the point of annoyance.

Long story short in the end cause this is already long. I get yelled at my mom and grandparents for not picking up the GOD FORSAKEN PHONE!! LIKE WTF EVERY DAMN PERSON I KNOW KNOWS I DONT PICK UP MY PHONE. I keep it on low for a damn good reason. I DONT WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE. I love my mom yelling at me cause my grandma is yelling at her because I wont pick up my phone. So when I call my grandma 1st oh it feels like the heavens are raining down on me. Fucking screaming and yelling at me because I didnt see my dad and so he knows i got the check he left. Yeah like they are going to take it. Then I call my mom and get the 5th degree because she called her bitching. Let me put it to you this way. I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU LIKE THE MAN I KNOW YOU WERE MARRIED TO HIM BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE I DONT GIVE 2 SHITS ABOUT WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY!!! All i wanted to do was fucking go out to dinner with the woman but it seems thats impossible to do on my bday. Of couse its impossible. Then her mom sends a message saying the babys hungry so I just said to hell with it and took her home trying to make the day better. Of course it just makes it worse. Gave my mom the money back and refused to talk to her. As far as i know she went to sleep and I became a moaping mess on the couch.
Then I came back here an its taken me almost 4o mins to write this post. But its going to be the longest one of one of the worst days of my life and the sadness that goes with it.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

How Should I Feel?

Well the woman had her baby the 14th. Didnt know or anything just found this all out tonight. Made for an interesting silence of anything if anything. So far I've seen her but and I just don't know what to say. Its just like I am at a loss of words on what to say and do anymore. I understand this is a big uphill battle and one of the greatest I think I'll ever battle in my life. Its like I want to do something but I am unsure on what I can do on that same hand. As I sit here and watch Red Eye as I do during the week I can't seem to find a reason to laugh and its all funny to me like it is every night. I know I am not a heartless bastard as most see to make me out to be. And with another of my Ex'es last night telling me oh yeah I never loved you. I was only with you because I didn't think anyone would love me. I guess this shouldnt bother me but at that same time it just feels weird to be sorta used in that same sense. This world is a very weird place I guess and I am just a small pawn in this big thing we call life. Hell you know its bad when I haven't whored any Xbox games for over a week due to being depressed about things that I can't control. Well things such as the woman and the kid and not being able to see her and when I did I lost it, then she leaves for four days. It makes it hard on the body at least for me, a person who doesnt know how to deal with their problems. I follow her around and I want to say something but on that same hand Its like I lose all will to speak and say anything although I know what I want to say. Its like some people say "Cat's got your tongue but in this case I dont have a tongue or balls to even say anything when I want to. She knows that i care about her and that this situation is very hard on me. But the biggest question is will I be able to handle this. I guess all I want is a hug but I am unable to get one it seems. But on the other hand I just hope she liked the flowers I got for her while I was thinking about her at work. She says she likes them but who knows women can lie about things they do and dont like. I guess I should quit rambling on about the hell or what you want to call this rant and ramble thats going on in my life.

Its not like anyones going to read this anyway. Just in the same sense that no one cares about anything that happens in my life.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

This week sucks so far.

Well it just seems that the wall are just going to keep falling down around me. Hell once I beat NCAA March Madness 08 and then I just lost my gaming again. I have like no desire to play anything anymore. Its like what the hell is wrong with me. I know deep down inside and let the person know how I felt. Took a lot to come out and say but when it comes down on deaf ears I guess it doesn't matter. I break 55K which is half way to my goal and it's like why the fuck do I care. Not like there's a reason for it or something. But it's sad that I can't seem to be happy and be able to do something at the same time. I guess I'm just not meant to be happy. And thats how its going to be.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I hate people sometimes.

Man I should post more on here. Need to stop being lazy er...Forgetting to post on here. But after realizing some things I deal with some of the dumbest people I believe are alive when it comes to anything out side of the box. Which then again is pretty much everything in their little small worlds. With one friend going to chase a guy that she is "in love" with just has me reflecting on past experiences with my cousin and when she decided to be a tool and chase a guy all the way out to Arizona. Well that didn't turn out well for the either of them. He never went to class and now they have a kid. But all that is well that ends well....I suppose. I guess it also bothers me that she's saying I am going down there for a week so I can see if I enjoy living down there. Im sorry I know as well as anyone else, if your going somewhere to see if your going to like living there and your only going to be a week. That doesn't say whether or not your going to like it down there living. I for one know that. I guess its just one of those things where I have the feeling I am going to have to do some damage control since the guy is a complete tool.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Man....Updates Im Lazy.

So lately nothing has been going on >_> WHAT A SHOCKER!! O_O. But anyway I guess thats how its supposed to be anymore. Lately it seems so boring that there is no really good game thats out to play. Well aside Super Street Fighter on my Xbox. Big shocker there since I have never really gotten into a fighting game. So I finished WALL-E made me sorta happy. And since then nothing in the gaming world has gone down. Hell not even a good movie I have wanted to watch, well maybe Role Models. But otherwise I haven't head of anything else I wold want to watch. Then again Hell when do I have time to watch movies. Well....I guess I have a lot of free time I just never watch movies for some reason. And at least I got my loans all caught up. Made me feel a lot better and not even stressed about the whole situation. Pretty relaxing and shocking which is interesting. Hell its pretty funny when I even have a twitter now. And well shit less then an hour to go before Red Eye is going to be on ^_^ and we get to hear about teh Gregalog. Some funny stuff there but the sad thing is there is some seriousness all in all there. But I guess Im done here but leaving people on this one last note.

Why do people answer their phones when their sleeping? I mean wouldn't you think not answer it or put it on silent so you don't have to worry about it waking you up in the middle of the night? Or is that function on a phone put there for no reason at all so people can just sit and wonder what they are going to use it for. But all in alll it makes people wonder deep down inside if there really is someone out there who would give a shit when the person is sleeping. But people don't understand this concept.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

WoW 10 days. >_>

Its been a long 10 days since the last update and suprising not a damn thing has happened I guess. >_> Well for my gamerscore I did break 50k lol I was pretty proud of breaking it. Only 25k more to go till i make my goal of this year. Then Ide be a happy Panda. ^_^. But in other news I hate people more then ever stupid motherfuckers across the st pounding nails in a 9 am in the fucking morning which gave me a fucking headache. Oh yes that made my day and morning. Now that I realized that I freak out people without looking at the keyboard. Makes me look at other people when I type to freak them out. Good stuff.

But on the end of this note: I FINALLY GET TO GET MORE JEANS ^_^
Its been like 3 years and I only have 2 pairs that I will actually wear to work so it makes me a happy Elmo ^_^ to go shopping for jeans and get some. Hoping they actually have some >_>

So Stay Classy San Diego!

Monday, February 16, 2009

4 Days WoW

Lately nothings really been going on. I watched Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist the other night. Good movie might I add. At least I didnt watch it along which would have been a weird thing overall. So I guess Im going to try to finish watching W. So just a little over halfway done with the movie I would rate it maybe a 5.5. Im not a Bush liker or hater its just the type of movie I dont really find that good. So lately I havent dont much in the gamerscore catagory. Just finished off Castle Crashers and picked up NHL 3 On 3 Arcade which was quite fun and an easy 200. So Im sitting at a little over 49K. Man well 1 month left to go till my other goal of 75K for my B Day..Looks like Im not going to hit that or even close. But oh well thats the way the cookie crumbles. Yeah Im turning this movie off. Its not happening. Wait. Na. Ill leave it on after readin about the reviews. But I will admit this isn't my type of movie. I am more of a comedy person. Guess at the same time I need to finish this Achievement Guide for Sonic MGC. Well on another note. W. is now off. And Max Payne is in.

In my life right now there isnt much of anything going on. Just same old things. I guess Im getting better at drums on Rock Band 2 or at least Im hoping. My mothers doing alright shes been in a lot of pain lately but oh well. Not much she can do. Me myself I have realized with the help of some others that I know not a person thats normal at all. Pretty interesting if you think about all the people I know. But I guess this has everything to do with the people I know. Because everyone says normal people are no fun. I guess that's true but what do I know. I dont think there is a normal person in this world that doesn't have to cover up something to make themselves seem normal.

But on a better note: Remember everyone has skeletons in their closets. Some also have dead people. And some have more then others. Its just up to you to determine who has what hanging around them.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Summary of My Day.

Well after determing I should write more on this blog and that I also have a couple people reading this I hope, along with me needing to watch more movies I decided to put W. in and see how it is. So far I am like 10 mins in and its pretty interesting so far. If I am correct its like a biography of W's life and presidency. But lately I realized I have one too many movies I would like to watch. Hell I even cut down my Xbox Live gaming for the day. I played a bit of Left 4 Dead then called it a day. I know not much of a day when your dealing with a gamer who is playing a lot at all times. OMG THEY EVEN HAVE BUSH CHOKING ON HIS PRETZEL IN THIS MOVIE!! FUCK YES!! But its different how this movie flashes back and forth between the past and present. Makes it a bit enjoyable to watch and not as boring as some would think this movie would or could be. Hell I think I had best go to sleep before I ramble more about this because after thinking about this post. I think its quite retarded but hell this is what happens when you blog before you go to bed. Eh lesson learned.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Man Im A Slacker.

I haven't made a post in like 4 months. Holy shit I am a slacker. I write down all the time I want to make a post on this but hell it's like I never get around to it. Well lets fill people in although no one reads this anyway. My GS has gone up only 17k since about the last time I've posted on this blog. Just got Lips in the mail today. Im pretty excited about this. Paying 10 bucks for a new game like that with both mics. I thought it was a nice deal. Lately I havent been scoring much points trying to wait on the GSL for x360a and trying to figure out how I score maybe 3-5k points in a weekend. I know its possible with some games but Im not sure if I should start preloading all my games or just waiting by taking the 1st week off. Hell maybe I might just say to hell with it and drop out of the GSL. Sounds fun and all but sounds like it could be no fun at the same time. Eh who knows what I am going to do. Anyone have any advice on some Cheap quick arcade games on a side note?